Last day in the West

I’m perched in the depths of Heathrow Airport, waiting to board an overnight flight to South Asia.  It’s been a full day.  I woke up in Oxford, England after about four hours’ sleep, walked a piece to a bus, rode over an hour to Heathrow,

(the bus ride view was beautiful!)

and checked with an airline representative about my luggage.  Last night someone else from the airline told me over the phone that I would be charged close to $1,400 to check the same baggage American Airlines had charged $50 to bring from Tallahassee to London.  I chose to laugh about this, musing at a final test to see how willing I was to give up my worldly possessions for the coming year, but even through giggles I couldn’t help but wince at the thought of either paying the fee or throwing half my luggage away.  Here is all I packed for the year:

Not much, kids.  Not much.  This is an excellent growing experience.  (Just because I can type those words doesn’t mean I can say them out loud yet.)

Upon arrival back at Heathrow this morning, I learned that the man on the phone had been mistaken.  My luggage would be fine.  With a smile on my face and a skip in my step, I boarded the tube into central London— one of my favorite cities in the world.

 I studied in London two summers ago and was thrilled to be back.  My classes there were the most challenging I encountered as an undergraduate.  (Two law professors versus seven undergraduate students endeavoring to learn international human rights law.  Let’s just say it was like drinking from a fire hose.)  When I came home people asked me what I saw in Europe.  “Textbooks,” I replied.  While I did next to no traveling outside the city, I got to know the city itself intimately.  Here is one of my favorite spots:

Trafalgar Square, hosting the National Gallery of Art

School children were eating lunch on a field trip outside.

I spent the much of the day walking near Westminster Abbey and Big Ben, perusing through one of my favorite stores in London, Fortnum & Mason.

Fortnum & Mason is just a couple blocks from Buckingham Palace.  It's a department store up top and a grocery store below- notably, this is where most of Queen Elizabeth II's groceries are purchased.

I also went to Harrod's.   I headed straight to the chocolate room, naturally, and bid adieu to my favorite dessert…apparently it’s not prevalent where I’m headed.  

I ate lunch at the National Gallery of Art Café, then perused through Degas, Monet, Manet, Renoir, and Turner.  The infinitesimal buzz of an art gallery is a wonderful salve for stress.  Seeing paintings that had become like dear friends two summers ago set me at ease.  That’s when I realized that I hadn’t been at ease.

Throughout the past weeks friends and family have asked me if I’ve processed how drastically my life is about to change.  I‘ve told some that I have, some that I haven’t, and some that I’m not sure the change will be as drastic as they perceive.  The blessing of making the decision to pursue this opportunity while interning at IJM headquarters was being surrounded by people to whom the notion of moving to South Asia was normal— particularly moving to South Asia to work with IJM.  But I’ve been away from HQ for more than a month now.  Keeping the morale without the community that provided normalcy has proved more difficult than I expected.  Today in London, outside the United States, finished with my business in Oxford and killing time until my flight this evening, the shock of reality hit me.  I will have no Civil Procedure textbook this year.  I will not celebrate Thanksgiving with my family, nor be with any close friends on their birthdays.  I will not view another Auburn football game for the remainder of the season.  It hit hard.

As I vacillated between peace and sheer shock, my mind shifted to Jeremiah 1.  Throughout high school I competed on a mock trial team.  Before every trial I read this chapter to myself, searching for assurance.  I found it every time, though not in a sweet or cuddly fashion.  The call of Jeremiah to become a prophet of God is not unlike many other prophet’s calls:

• God speaks clearly
• Jeremiah questions God in the same breath that he refers to him as “sovereign”
• God speaks clearly again
• Jeremiah gives excuses
• God nullifies them through reiterating that whole sovereignty business Jeremiah mentioned
• Jeremiah is frightened
• God gives Jeremiah the options of coming along or being miserable (“Get ready for work…Do not be terrified of them or I will terrify you before them”  [v. 17]– somewhat reminiscent of God’s tone when speaking to a finally exasperated Job “Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.” Job 38:3 and 40:7)
• God reiterates his unending love and provision for Jeremiah (“They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you.” [v. 19.])

I am sure that this is where I am supposed to be for the coming year.  I would not venture to characterize the move as a manifest destiny ordained by God, but I do believe it was an option that he put into my life and assured me would be blessed if chosen.  So here I am.  As God conveyed to Jeremiah, to fear the very path the Almighty has blessed is nonsensical at best.  Truly, the only paths we should fear are those definitively outside his blessing.  I pray to remember this lesson.

That was that.

I checked in at the airport and sat down for my final Western meal, and one of my favorites in London:

Pret a Manger’s Chicken Avocado sandwich and spearkling grape and elderflower juice.

Truvy, Dolly Parton's character in Steel Magnolias, said, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!”  That’s about all I’ve got to offer at the moment.  Here goes nothing.